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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in nemesisn4sa's LiveJournal:

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Thursday, July 16th, 2009
2:49 pm
so, excatly one week ago today, the rza and i got married. which pretty much everyone knows by now, but i figured i had to blog about it to make it really official.
we've kind of spent the last six months or so working out the details, like making sure rza believed me when i said i really didn't want a traditional "big" wedding, and figuring out whether or not we would tell anybody or invite anybody. and then the past month we worked out the more intricate details like when exactly we were going to do this and getting all of the legalities taken care of and i had to buy my dress, which is really freaking hard when you're not telling anyone what you're doing. seriously. i spent so many hours at work looking at websites and trying to make it seem like i wasn't looking for a dress to get married in. i ended up ordering it the week before and it didn't arrive until the day of, like an hour before we were supposed to leave.

so, even though it looked spontaneous, there actually was a lot of planning and discussion involved. we've also decided that at some point we want to have a reception, since seriously no one was there. we didn't even tell our parents until the day before. now we just have to try and save some money and find a venue and all that other fun stuff, so the reception probably won't be until october, if we're lucky.

the actual ceremony was...interesting. we had to go to our district magistrate's office, which is located in a building that looks like it was a high school at one point in time. which gave me the feeling of waiting in the principal's office. and there were like 5 or 6 people ahead of us who were there for civil hearings, including a girl who was filing for a restraining order against her boyfriend. she was on her cell almost the entire time talking to different people and at one point i guess she got a hold of her boyfriend because she yealled "you're a piece of shit and your mom's a piece of shit and if i see her i'm going to fucking beat her ass." after everyone else was dealt with, we went into the courtroom and had a very quick and very lovely ceremony of which i can't really remember a single thing. then we went to piper's for lunch and started texting everyone and their mom.

and that's how rza and i got married.

there have been a few questions, like: am i knocked up? (no), are we going on a honeymoon? (someday), am i changing my name? (i don't know yet. i want to, but after spending thrity years with this name it feels weird to change it. advice from married friends who did change is much wlecomed). and we're both still adjustingto saying "husband" and "wife" instead of "boyfreind" and "girlfriend". other than that, things are pretty much the same. which is good.
Wednesday, June 17th, 2009
9:28 am
things that i hate:

rain
wind
people
umbrellas
stupid people
stupid people with umbrellas
people who feel the need to write on bus seats so that i spend a paranoid ten minutes walking from the bus to the office wondering if i have words on my ass

today at lunch we are having a surprise birthday party for marvin hamlisch. complete with ice cream sundaes. this would be one of those things that makes me love my job, except for the part where it means i have to be social. i hate being social. i also hate riding the elevator at work with other people. because it inevitably is someone i'm not comfortable with and i'm then forced to make small talk. and i'm magic in my ways of sucking hard at small talk. especially first thing in the morning. which goes back to me hating being social.

on a non-complaining or grumbly note, i think the tide pen is one of the greatest inventions in the world.
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009
10:03 am
so, i can't actually do any work right now because our ticketing system is down. woo-hoo. free day! this is actually good, because there have been some events over the past cople of days that have left me so disgruntled and so...i don't know. uncaring? i'm just sad because i should love my job, but because some people are idiots, i don't.

in other news, i think i'm going to quit school. i only really started taking these classes becasue i was bored and it's become more stress than i'm willing to put up with. also, certain classes, like the ones that involve any kind of drafting at all, are so unintersting to me. and if i'm not interested i don't care and if i don't care, i don't do my homework. which is like totally immature, but that's how i work. the class i'm in now has us using google sketch-up and i really have no desire to learn how to use it. and my next class is drafting, so i know that's goign to suck. and i can only imagine what it will be like when we get to autocad. i feel like i shouldn't quit, because it would be nice to at least have that sense of accomplishmnet. like even though i don't care at least i did it. but when it comes to doing my assignments (even the simple things like commenting on other classmates work) i just can't be bothered. so, yeah, that's that.

due to the restructuring here at work, my little department, which has been whittled down to just two of us, has been moved. we now have our own semi-private office with a window. that opens. onto the roof. we've joked about putting a grill and a kiddie pool out there. it's really nice, because sometimes the ac is too much and we can open the window and let warm air in. the bad thing is now i'm spoiled and when they decide to move us again (because offices get switched around here like we're playing musical chairs) i'll totally not want to go.

i'm taking the second week of july off and the plan is to paint the house. not the whole thing, just the living room, dining room and bedroom. of course, now that i'm commiting myself to it, i'm starting to doubt the color choices for the living room and dining room. we want to do a darkish mauve for the living room and a lighter version for the dining room, but now i'm worried the darker mauve will too much. and the lighter one will be too light. i'm dead set on dark blue for the bedroom and can't be swayed. i'm thinking of doing the bedroom first, and thinking more about the living room and dining room.

also, i'm growing plants and so far very few of them have died. and it's been like a month or two, so go me! i might actually be able to survive after the apocolypse. woot!

and last but not least-go pens!
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
9:08 am
so, i started reading this book yesterday, and it's kind of spooky, although to be honest i haven't gotten to any of the spooky parts yet. it's written by the same guys who wrote the relic, which i haven't read, but i did see the very beginning of the movie, so i know what i'm in store for. anyway, i made the mistake of reading it right before i went to bed and of course ended up having a nightmare. i don't really remember exactly what the scary part of the dream was, but i was fighting something, or trying to get away from something and so i ended up creating this superhero/monster to fight for me. and by create i mean i was talking and as i said words this thing grew. what were the words i said? "it'll have a viking helmet. and boobs. and it'll have stars. 'cause we're awesome!"

except i said "'cause we're awesome!" out loud. in real life. and woke myself and rza. he tried to get me to keep talking, but i was still partially asleep and embarrassed that a) i had talked in my sleep and b) i had a nightmare because i didn't have the good sense to not read a spooky book before i went to bed. then, to make matters worse,i kept thinking about the fact that i had pretty much shouted "'cause we're awesome!" and kept giggling. and i was still kind of spooked, so i had to turn on the tv, and keep ryan awake a little longer.

speaking of dreams, i had a dream the night before that is so transparent in meaning i'm ashamed of myself for not having a more creative subconscious. basically i was on the phone with a client who is renowned for being a bitch and she asked me a question that caused me to have to admit that i don't know how to read music. so i had to put her on hold and ask the people in my cube farm and they were all aghast that i did not know how to read music. when i got back on the phone with the bitch she started complaining that she had never heard of the piece in question and she didn't get that it was composed for dora maar, because who the hell is dora maar. at which point i was all "aha! i know who dora maar is!" and i felt redeemed. this is so true to life because i am one of the very few people here at work who have zero musical background what-so-ever. but i do know a lot of things that my co-workers don't, like who jack kerouac is. (i still can't get over that one. he's like common knowledge.) the funny thing is, i've been mulling this dream over and thinking about real life and i realized my lack of musical background has yet to have a negative effect on my work. i've been in this position for almost two years and at no point in time has my ignorance been a hinderance. to be fair i do try to read about the pieces being performed before the season starts, but i can't say i really retain much of it. for like a week i'm an expert on our entire season, then it's all forgotten by the time the gala rolls around.

and on that note, i should probably actually try and get some work done.
Monday, March 23rd, 2009
4:39 pm
so, i've decided that i hate facebook. i think it's a big reason why so many people have stopped posting on livejournal and i consider livejournal to be a big factor in why i'm close to the people that i consider to be my best friends. all facebook does is put me in contact with people that i haven't talked to in years. and there are reasons why i haven't talked to those people in years. i think that people are so busy anymore that the best way to stay in touch with anyone is through the internet and i miss that interaction. and i'm not talking about just playing scrabble or reading someone's status or sending a virtual drink. i miss the days of being able to post an entry on livejournal, and it was the equivalent of calling a friend and catching up, except i was calling all of my friends and keeping everyone in the loop simultaneously. i know i'm just as guilty as everyone else of not updating regularly, and i know my biggest reason is that it's hard to find the time, but i miss my friends, and i miss livejournal.
Friday, November 21st, 2008
1:27 pm
i just read an article on-line claiming that people's personalities are reflected in their dogs. if this is true, then i am apparently an adorable, stubborn, one-eyed attention whore who is also a little smelly.
Thursday, November 13th, 2008
1:37 pm
Wednesday, November 5th, 2008
11:27 am
happy guy fawkes day!!
Thursday, October 30th, 2008
11:32 am
rza asked me, like he don't know...
Comment here and I will choose 7 interests I am curious about. Respond in your journal.

anais nin
i forget what inspired me to list this exactly, but i love anais nin. she tells such dirty stories without being gross.

dawn dish soap
dawn dish soap is what's used to clean birds that are affected by oil spills. it's the only dish soap that i'll use. they do a lot to help wildlife in general, so i try to support them in my dish cleaning efforts. also, in england it's called fairy bubbles or something fun like that. for being a cleaning product, it's pretty awesome.

english accents
english accents=hot. that's all.

hardcore porn

i actually only added this to my interests because i don't really believe that people look at my profile. i figured it would be funny to have something unexpected in case anybody took the time to look.

latina gangs

the red-headed slut and i have had long discussions about how we'd like to be hispanic. she wants to be of cuban descent and live in miami and i want to be of mexican descent and live in la. and there's nothing tougher than an la gang of chicks, meng.

nerget
rza went to japan and brought me back a pink paul frank sock monkey. the night before he returned was the last episode of friends, and they did a recap of some of phoebe's songs. i'm very upset, because right now i don't remember how the song went, but one of the lines was "and tegrin spelled backwards is nirget." i spent the night at rza's place so that i'd be there when he got home, and he woke me up with the sock monkey in my face. i had that song in my head and the first thing i said was, "can i name him nirget?". later i bought rza a stuffed einstein. nirget and einstein became bff, even though nirget is japanese and einstein is german, and there's a bit of a language barrier.

wu-tang

i love the wu-tang clan with my whole heart. the rza, the gza, raekwon, inspectah deck, ol' dirty bastard, ghostface killah, method man, u-god, masta killa. i love them all. one of my pet peeves is when a person says something along the lines of "i like all music except rap and country." i find that more often than not those people have never taken the time to truly listen to rap or country and are really just basing their opinion on preconceived ideas they have of a particular music genre. the wu-tang clan is oneof the best examples of how rap is art, and i'd even say most of the members of wu-tang are poets to the degree of keats or eliot.
Thursday, October 16th, 2008
4:38 pm

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are an Ingrid!

mm.ingrid_.jpg

You are an Ingrid -- "I am unique"



Ingrids have sensitive feelings and are warm and perceptive.



How to Get Along with Me

  • * Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me.

  • * Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value myself.

  • * Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision.

  • * Though I don't always want to be cheered up when I'm feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.

  • * Don't tell me I'm too sensitive or that I'm overreacting!




What I Like About Being an Ingrid

  • * my ability to find meaning in life and to experience feeling at a deep level

  • * my ability to establish warm connections with people

  • * admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life

  • * my creativity, intuition, and sense of humor

  • * being unique and being seen as unique by others

  • * having aesthetic sensibilities

  • * being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me




What's Hard About Being an Ingrid

  • * experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair

  • * feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don't deserve to be loved

  • * feeling guilty when I disappoint people

  • * feeling hurt or attacked when someone misundertands me

  • * expecting too much from myself and life

  • * fearing being abandoned

  • * obsessing over resentments

  • * longing for what I don't have




Ingrids as Children Often

  • * have active imaginations: play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games

  • * are very sensitive

  • * feel that they don't fit in

  • * believe they are missing something that other people have

  • * attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.

  • * become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood

  • * feel lonely or abandoned (perhaps as a result of a death or their parents' divorce)




Ingrids as Parents

  • * help their children become who they really are

  • * support their children's creativity and originality

  • * are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings

  • * are sometimes overly critical or overly protective

  • * are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed



Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Monday, October 13th, 2008
8:33 am
i had just enough energy and will-power to get myself into work today. let's see if i make it through the day...
Wednesday, October 8th, 2008
11:55 am
happy birthday butterpat!
i can't watch videos at work, so i can only hope this works.


Friday, October 3rd, 2008
11:49 am
i am in love with this photograph.
Wednesday, October 1st, 2008
3:35 pm
in honor of chestymcgee and bluespark's birthdays, i have given up on doing any work today and instead am spending my time checking out this site.

happy birthday to two of my favorite girls.
Sunday, September 28th, 2008
1:20 pm
i think i'd be good for you and you'd be good for me
a long time ago in a different life of mine, i sat with a group of friends and we went a around in a circle and listed our top five albums of all time. then we went around again and did 6-10. we kept going until each person had listed their top twenty. i know if i were to play this game now, a lot of my answers would be different, but i still think pinkerton would fall somewhere on the list. it is one of those albums that is perfect, start to finish. also, very possible weezer's last good album. they keep trying though, which you gotta at least give them credit for that.

the past two weeks at work have been so wretchedly awful, i cannot even begin to express it. there has just been far too much to do and not enough time to do it. and now i'm sick. again. i blame the non-stop pace at work and the fact that everybody at work is sick. i hate it. i've contemplated looking for a new job, but i'm reading "yes, you too can have a financial life!" by ben stein and some other guy and it makes me realize the value of the steady job i have. it doesn't seem worth it to look for something new. the worst part about the book is that it starts out with all of the things you need to do in your twenties to have a good financial life and i haven't really done any of them. i was hoping the next section would be about what to do if you've fucked up the first part, but it doesn't really go into detail. it does make me glad that we bought a house. and really i'm not in such awful shape, especially since one of my benefits through work is a pension. sigh. i hate being a grown-up most of all, and here i am stuck in the middle of it.

we'll be dog-sitting for roza this week. his new dog, sam the sharpei, is the total opposite of my dog. sam is calm, quiet, easy going. huggabear is a wild, untamed beast. i've tried to prepare the cat for this, but he's so pissed off that he has to live with one dog that i think he's just ignoring what i say in the hopes that i'm just telling stories to scare him. i have a feeling that there won't be a lot of sleep this week.
Saturday, September 13th, 2008
1:48 pm
Thursday, September 11th, 2008
12:18 pm
these show up huge on my computer at work, but small on my computer at home. not sure what's up with that.

Read more...Collapse )
Friday, September 5th, 2008
12:19 pm
how much do i not want to be at work today? all of it, that's how much. it's friday, i'm sleepy, and i've got a hot movie date with tori_vixen and the christenator tonight. the good news is i have a "business" lunch, so there won't be too much having to pretend like i'm being productive today.

last night fasterpussycat came over for pork and pierogies. it was good times. we ate food, we laughed, we talked about our feelings, the dog peed on rza. all in all a successful evening.

so this morning i confessed to rza that i wish i liked bananas, simply because i want to eat banoffee pie. which i think is as good a reason as any to like anything. but then i thought about it and maybe, just maybe, the addition of toffee to the bananas would make me like banoffee pie, even though i don't like bananas on their own. i'm willing to experiment.

in completely unrelated to anything else news, i started a gratitude journal. every night i write down at least three things that i'm grateful for. i've only been doing it for about a week, but it definitely makes a difference. the only thing is that i tend to get a little too deep and i think i need to work on being grateful for the little things as well as the big. also, the one day i was really grumpy and skipped because i knew if i forced myself to think about what i'm grateful for then i would lose the good grump i had going on.

also, last weekend we bough yet another bookcase, this time to house our dvds. the only problem being that this will be the first time we've combined our dvd collections and we can't agree on how to arrange them. rza is all for alphabetical order, but that's just too neat and orderly for me. i would prefer something along the lines of genre, but my definitions of genre are too vague. kind of along the lines of how my cds are arranged according to which ones would be friends with each other. (no, not which artists would be friends, but which actual cds. this is what it's like in my head. welcome to crazytown.) it's a system that only makes sense to me. but i figure if the dewey decimal system caught on, then my way isn't too nutso.

i can't express how excited i am about all of the halloween/autumn stuff that's out in stores. now that we have this big, bad house i get to decorate it for all of the holidays and halloween is one of my favorites. we got a flyer in the mail for one of the gardening places by our house (the one that has a real reindeer at christmas that you can feed corn) and they were advertising cornstalks and pots of mums. and at the card store by work they have all kinds of autumny scented candles and jack skellington candle holders. i want it all. just wait until christmas. i might break down and get a normal sized tree. if they make 6 ft pink ones....

so, i just saw on my on-line bookclub a book called "the geography of bliss". it's all about how where you live could affect how happy you are. this is totally intriguing to me, because i fully believe it to be true. especially in light of my reaction to our move. the book deals with it on a grander scale, like romania vs. iceland, but why couldn't it apply to neighborhoods?

and now i have successfully wasted my morning and am off to my lunch meeting!
Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008
7:56 pm
so, i had a whole bunch of crap to say, but none of it is coming out right. so i will resort to my normal cop out of bulleted points.

* yesterday i read this book. yes, that is amon on the cover. yes, he was there while i read it. yes, it was weird to read about his "staff of life", especially with him in the room. please take a minute to read the excerpt on that page. i have never read a book so poorly written in my life. also, in the description they reference chad and brad. there was no one in the book by those names.

* on saturday i had a pumpkin ale at bocktown, which would have been good, except they rimmed the glass with cinnamon and sugar, so it was amazing instead. seriously, best beer i've had ever. the only problem being that i apparently can't drink anymore and ended the night with a raging headache. from one beer. sigh. i am officially old.

* in a fit of boredom i looked up alex p. keaton on wikipedia. it had this blasphemy to say-"In a 3 March 2008 article for the New York Times, Gary David Goldberg (the creator of Family Ties) speculated that in the year 2008 Alex P. Keaton would be an Independent rather than a Republican and would vote for Barack Obama." we all know better than to believe that. alex would never vote for a democrat. that would be like me saying "oh, kitties. yeah. i'm not really into them."

* i sang karaoke for the second time in my life. rza tricked me into a duet of "fairytale of new york". i wasn't nearly drunk enough, so i didn't rock it the way that i do when i'm home and have no audience. i could have done better...

* i'm out of books and i'm out of music so somebody needs to give me some good recommendations or i will slowly start to whither and die.
Tuesday, August 19th, 2008
11:27 am
today is the rza's birthday. i have never been happier for one person's existence in my life.



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